Hott (with makeup only) female teacher that banged former student gets a plea deal!
Is it brown bag time for the Chargers?
JESUS GOES TO PRISON!
Al Roker likes to get lit!
Durex will cure the world of AIDS! Or.....start an epidemic!
Electrician down on his luck wins $1 million in powerball drawing! Promises to take his "best" girl to Red Lobster?!
"Watch Gators" used to guard pot! GENIUS!
WORST sex scenes in literary history! Get your kleenex ready!
Eight HORRIBLY LAME things that will make your woman "swoon?"
-In reality these things don’t work.....
So here are some things that do, especially if the girl has a bad relationship with her dad (like 99% of women do)
1. Tell her she’s pretty for someone with bad skin.
2. Constantly remind her that she is your “best” girl.
3. Make it very clear, if she ever cheats on you, you will cook her and eat her for Christmas Dinner.
4. Let her know that sometimes you like to punch things, so if she’s in the room....she better watch out.
5. Borrow her car and don’t bring it back for a week and don’t call her or answer your phone.
6. Tell her she is the most important thing to you in this world, right behind football and fishing.
7. Make sure she understands, if she does get pregnant, you want it "taken care of," because a kid would cramp your game with other chicks.
8. Let her know you have the same sex addiction problem that Tiger Woods suffers from, but you consider it a blessing....not a curse.
Harvard now has a "school recognized" BDSM Lovers Club!
Fast food workers UNITE!
UCLA Asian girls LOVE honkeys! YES!
They are building ANOTHER park for the homeless downtown! HURRAY HOMELESS!
Is that some frozen fish in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?
Ice and water found on Mercury! Space margaritas?
NASA dedicates an entire web page to debunking the Mayan calendar myths! So THAT'S why they make the big bucks!
U.S. Supreme Court to rule on gay marriage! PARTY IN HILLCREST!
NFL to ban Viagra! Players using it to perform better on field!
Former player brags about his erection!
"Dumb Ways to Die"
Did YOU eat my corndog??? DIE!
San Diegans ranked themselves 2nd hottest city in 'Merka! Yeah.......that's not vain!
Gun sales break records on Black Friday.....they think?
Should you "step in" if a parent is smacking their child in front of you?
Fake boobs save lives!
How old is the Grand Canyon.......REALLY!
Awesome f-35 to have it's wings clipped by new budget cuts!
Bacon scented shaving cream!?
Worst street names in 'Merka!
