Get matching Chris Dorner tattoos!
Valentine's Day is killing you! Literally!
Public dumping on Valentine's Day!
They need to segment the Valentine’s Day card section like this:
Section 1. I haven’t gotten into her pants yet
Section 2. She’s expecting a ring
Section 3. Engaged to be miserable
Section 4. Married 0-3 years
Section 5. Married 4-7 years
Section 6. Married so long we’ve started to look like each other.
Singles Awareness Day (SAD) is tomorrow......LOSER!
How likely is it that you will die alone?
"Blade Runner" murders smokin' hot model girlfriend! Allegedly?
She tweeted she was looking forward to Valentines Day!
Skank Kris Jenner from "The Kardashians" cheated on Bruce 20 years ago and paid off her lover to keep quiet! Lip injections anyone?
Animals HATE ladies golf!
Marco Rubio's Spanish translation is HI-LARIOUS!
Seaworld gets a new KILLER whale to eat one of the trainers!
Why CAN'T middleschoolers bring pot cookies to school?
Dorner Wallet-Gate! How many wallets does a normal man have?
Dog poo + Roomba sweeper = DISASTER!
Is your job title boring?
Ugliest teacher alive encouraged students to massage her to "Happy Ending!"
Dorner's final kidnap victims had the WORST INTERVIEW EVA! STOP TALKING JIM!
Canada understands the zombie threat!
Free Valentines Day divorce!
Best movie breakups!
Chubby Checker suing over penis size app!
Women expect to get laid on V-day!
Best V-day poem!
Time to move to South Korea where all men get golden showers on V-day!
Shark attacks are the highest they have been in 12 years!
The next pope will be the last!